2017 the year of sorrow upon sorrow and the Lord's faithfulness and my lack of.
"If we are faithless, he remains faithful." 2 Timothy 2:13
I have pondered this blog post for days. I wipe away tears as I look upon the events of this year and those currently happening. My heart is so heavy and my eyes can barely stay open. My body is exhausted and my mind. I am most heavy hearted that this year as I needed the Lord the most I found myself spending less time building that relationship. I often questioned my salvation, I often wondered if I had any strength left. I miss my dad incredibly. The pain of watching my father deteriorate and those images have not gone away. My heart aches as I watch the pain my mother and grandmother have been going through. This year has been one of doctors visit after doctor's visit and more to come. Working on restoring my health and leaning on the Lord more and less on myself. My heart has been heavy all year for marriages falling apart, friends dealing with very sick kids, and death all around us.
I am beyond blessed with a husband who will always point me back to Christ and friends who love me no matter how up and down my life has been. We have been so blessed to be served and able to serve. We are so blessed and thankful our oldest son is home with us but I am heavy hearted with the changes and the unknowns and challenges that have come with that as well. Brian has so many incredible ministry opportunities happening and he has one class left before he graduates. We praise the Lord for our old community providing Brian the opportunity to attend Seminary. Tri-City Bible Church is home and more than we could have ever prayed for! The Lord is so good! This year I have made incredible friends and been able to host so many wonderful events and dinner. My mom and I have grown close this year and she has been such an awesome grandma. Abby started Kinder and has been so fun to watch! She has changed so much and has really learned to temper her anger. She is so creative and we just adore her. Asher has had a hard year with a lot of grumbling. We are praying to find an outlet for him. He is a comedian and ridiculously cute. We just love him to pieces. Aaron has grown too fast. He learned to walk a few months ago which has been awesome. I adore him to pieces and my heart melts when I get to cuddle him. He has gotten pretty spunky and has some solid lungs. So we will see how his personality develops. Can not believe our littlest turned one this year.
My hope and prayer for 2018 is again more of Jesus! Putting my full hope in Christ and living out Philippians 1-21, “for to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” I pray that even if this next year is harder than the last that I would press on and trust that His plans are for my good and sanctifying me in the process. We were never called to a perfect and happy life here but one that glorifies God in all we do and speak. Lord help me to trust in that! Help me to have a glass half full outlook this year rather than being so pessimistic often. I pray so much our children would be called to Jesus and walk in His ways and not in the ways of the world. MORE OF YOU LORD!!!
"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”
Revelation." Revelation 21:4
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26
"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you."Isaiah 26:3
"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30
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