How to Help the Hurting

2012 at 7:54 am   |   by Carolyn Mahaney
Filed under Biblical Womanhood Feelings Prayer Suffering Do you ever feel like you don’t know what to say to someone who is suffering? Are you ever tempted to avoid the person who is going through a trial? Do you worry about saying or doing the wrong thing?
In her second breakout session at the Sovereign Grace Pastors Conference, Nancy Guthrie offered some practical advice for how to serve the hurting. This is one of the most helpful talks I have ever heard on this topic and I hope every woman will listen, take notes, and seek to grow in love toward those who are suffering. Nancy offers six ways to walk with people through loss:

1. Overcome the awkwardness to engage

“Sometimes we see people struggling and we want them to come so quickly to resolution, to figure everything out. The truth is, as we minister to other women, we do want them to come to resolution, we do want them to come to some peace, figuring things out. But sometimes I think we are in a much bigger hurry than God is Himself. What a gift it is to other women to be willing to sit—not forever, but at least for a while. To just go, “Wow, this is hard isn’t it?”“

2. Make room for tears and sadness

“Don’t think tears are the problem. Tears are a gift that God gives us to help wash away the deep pain that we feel and experience from living life in the brokenness of this world. There are some things worth crying about. There are some people worth crying about.”

3. Go deeper than deliverance in prayer

10 purposes in the Bible for which God wants to use suffering:

• To put gods glory on display John 9.3
• To make the life of Jesus evident 2 Cor. 4.10-11
• To live out genuine faith 1 Pet. 1.6-7
• To cause us to depend on him more fully. 2 Cor. 1.8-9
• To reveal hidden sin or keep us from sin 2 Cor. 12.7
• To experience that Christ is enough 2 Cor. 12.9
• To discipline us for holiness Heb. 12.10-11
• To equip us to comfort others 1 Cor. 1.3
• To make us spiritually mature James 1.2-5
• To make us fruitful John 15.2
• To shape us into Christs likeness Rom. 8.29
• To share in the suffering of Christ Phil. 3.10

4. Gently challenge sentimentalism and spiritualism with Scriptural truth

“If that is the fruit of the suffering in the people’s lives you minister to, that’s really good fruit: to know God as he is, not what we’ve tried to make him into.”

5. Anticipate the family pressure points.

“Grief puts a lot of pressure on a family.”

6. Help them turn the misery into ministry

“So often we think: when I get this figured out, when I feel better, I can turn toward ministering to other people. I want to say: The way we begin to feel better is to begin to minister to other people uniquely out of our loss.”
You can listen to Nancy’s message, “Learning to Walk with Each Other Through Loss” here.

Original post:
 http://www.girltalkhome.com/blog/how-to-help-the-hurting

Absolutely the best banana bread ever!!!

I have made several banana bread recipes but this one far exceeds all of them. My wonderful old roommate Elizabeth has been making this for years!

Pre-heat oven to 350*

> Grease a bread pan (mine was a large glass one or you could do about two small foil ones or even) with butter or spray with cooking spray. Set aside.

(I have a KitchenAid so I combined the large bowl items first then added bananas and milk, then dry ingredients, and the last and best ingredient the peanut butter chips)
> In a small bowl, combine 2c flour. 1/2tsp salt. 1/2tsp baking soda. 1tsp baking powder

>Any other dry ingredients: peanut butter chips, chocolate chips, cranberries, chopped nuts

> In a medium bowl, mash together 4-5 ripe bananas with 3-4Tbsp of milk

> In a large bowl, place 3/4 stick of butter, 2/3c sugar, 2 eggs. Beat together. Add banana mixture and mix until smooth. Slowly pour in dry ingredients, blending together.

> Pour into the greased pan and place in oven for 45-55 min. Check with toothpick in the center of the loaf; it should come out clean.

Slice and enjoy!

Cranberry Apple Chutney

I haven't tried this yet but it looks and sounds fantastic! 

Excited to try this for Thanksgiving at my parents house. 

For the original recipe and photos go to:

 http://bakedbree.com/cranberry-apple-chutney?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+BakedBree+%28Baked+Bree%29

Ingredients

• 2 cups cranberries
• 2 apples, peeled and chopped
• 1/4 to 1/2 cup honey (depending how sweet you like it)
• 2 teaspoons grated fresh ginger
• 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
• zest from one orange and juice
• 1 Tablespoon balsamic vinegar

Instructions

1. Put all of the ingredients in a saucepan.
2. Cook over medium-low heat for about 15 to 20 minutes. The cranberries will pop and everything will get tender and the flavors will get to know each other.

Give Others the Gift of Being Slow to Speak

By Jon Bloom Nov 2, 2012 2:00 AM -

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger. (James 1:19)

Listen. Wait. Respond.

How many of our conflicts would dissolve or never even materialize if we:

Listened to really understand a person’s concern or complaint,
Waited... till our typically wrong initial impulse passed, till we’ve prayed, till we’ve asked clarifying questions,
And then responded with patience, graciousness, honesty, clarity, and, if possible, brevity?
Full disclosure: I’m writing mainly to myself here. But if you, like me, tend to be slow to hear, quick to speak, and quick to impatience, come and exhort yourself with me.

Listen. A quickness to listen is a mark of humility, something I do when I consider someone else more significant than myself (Philippians 2:3). Listening to understand before I respond is a sign that I am not wise in my own eyes (Proverbs 12:15), not leaning on my own understanding (Proverbs 3:6). I really want to grow in this grace.

Father, whatever it takes make me humble so that I am quick to hear others.

Wait. Love is patient (1 Corinthians 13:4). So waiting before I respond to a concern or complaint—being slow to speak—is often a way God calls me to love others, even if they don’t expect or want me to wait. Prudently restraining my lips (Proverbs 10:19) allows me to get past my initial impulse (which is frequently wrong), to ask God for wisdom and discernment, and to ask clarifying questions that often don’t come in the heat of the first moment. I need to grow in this grace too.

Father, whatever it takes teach me to love so that I am slow to speak in a moment of tension.

Respond. “Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body” (Proverbs 16:24). When I speak, it is so important that my words “give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29). Gracious words are sometimes tender and sometimes tough (Proverbs 27:6), but they are always measured, clear, honest, and if possible (a struggle for me) concise (Proverbs 10:19). They always aim for truthful restoration and agreement (2 Corinthians 13:11).

Father, whatever it takes help me respond to discord with gracious words.

Being quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry is very hard. James goes so far as to say, “no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison” (James 3:8). We know what he means.

But thank God that “what is impossible with man is possible with God” (Luke 18:27). God will provide us an escape from temptation if we want it (1 Corinthians 10:13).

So as we face conflicts today, if we listen, wait, and respond in the spirit of James 1:19, we will resist the devil (James 4:6) and may participate with Jesus in the destruction of the devil’s works (1 John 3:8) by what we don’t say.

Precious Flower!

                            
We had a great time with our friends on Halloween! It is so fun seeing our kids all together!