Parenting Does Not Create The Child

Great post my hubby forwarded me from the Gospel Coalition website. 

Parenting Does Not Create the Child

Kevin DeYoung

Kevin DeYoung Blog | September 20, 2013

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Parenting has become more complicated than it needs to be. It used to be, as far as I can tell, that Christian parents basically tried to feed their kids, clothe them, teach them about Jesus, and keep them away from explosives. Now our kids have to sleep on their backs (no, wait, their tummies; no, never mind, their backs), while listening to Baby Mozart and surrounded by scenes ofStarry, Starry Night. They have to be in piano lessons before they are five and can't leave the car seat until they're about five foot six.

It's all so involved. There are so many rules and expectations. Parenting may be the last bastion of legalism. Not just in the church, but in our culture. We live in a permissive society that won't count any sin against you as an adult, but will count the calories in your kids' hot lunch. I keep hearing that kids aren't supposed to eat sugar anymore. What a world! What a world! My parents were solid as a rock, but we still had a cupboard populated with cereal royalty like Captain Crunch and Count Chocula. In our house the pebbles were fruity and the charms were lucky. The breakfast bowl was a place for marshmallows, not dried camping fruit. Our milk was 2%. And sometimes, if we needed to take the edge off a rough morning, we'd tempt fate and chug a little Vitamin D.

As nanny parents living in a nanny state, we think of our children as amazingly fragile and entirely moldable. Both assumptions are mistaken. It's harder to ruin our kids than we think and harder to stamp them for success than we'd like. Christian parents in particular often operate with an implicit determinism. We fear that a few wrong moves will ruin our children forever, and at the same time assume that the right combination of protection and instruction will invariably produce godly children. Leslie Leyland Fieldsis right: "One of the most resilient and cherished myths of parenting is that parenting creates the child."

Excerpt from Crazy Busy, A (Mercifully) Short Book About a (Really) Big Problem 

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Welcome sweet Asher James

Our beloved boy has made his arrival and I have to just say he came out gorgeous and adorable immediately. But before I get to that let me share our birth story. We were schedule for a 5am induction today September 20th. My due date was September 25th. I came in and got all set up very quick. I was 4cm and 80 percent effaced when we got here and was totally fine with no contractions at all. They started my pitocin around 615am and doctor broke my water at 815. So by 9 my contractions were starting to grow but it was tolerable. At 10 the anesthesiologist told me if I wanted a epidural that was the only time he could do it. I was pretty bummed because I wanted to keep going without but Brian was nervous for me to be in pain and I didn't want to regret it. The epidural this time turned out to be the hardest part. It was so hard to get in. By 11 I went from 5.5 centimeter or so to 9cm in 30 minutes. I didn't feel anything at that point. They only had my epidural on for one hour. At 1115 I told Brian I thought the baby was coming out. And sure enough.... Nurse came in and said, "yup there's the head getting close." So she called Dr. Steele and they set everything up. I pushed for maybe 10 minutes and he came out at 1145am! Weighing 8lbs, 21.5inches long, big cheeks, adorable face, perfect shaped head, he barely made a peep! He was precious the moment he made his entrance. I could not have asked for better nurses and a doctor whom I love. I am so blessed to have two easy deliveries so far. Praise God! I am so grateful. I was up walking and hanging soon after that. The nurses were very impressed with how well everything went and have barely been in to bother us since we moved to the recovery room. Abby was able to come to the hospital and visit with her grandparents who have taken amazing care of her. That is just a huge praise! Abby loves Asher. She was kissing him,  holding him and just wanting to love all over him. It blessed my heart. 

Asher has just been a precious babe since he came into this world. He came out so gorgeous and big. We were all shocked to find out he is 8lbs. What a big boy. He has barely cried at all. He is nursing great and is just super relaxed. I am so grateful for this day and that everything went so great! I am feeling really good and super excited to bring our sweetie home to be with the family. I am also excited for Collin to come visit us tomorrow. He can't wait to meet the little guy. Praise be to God always. 

Thank you all who have lifted us up in prayer. We are so thankful for each of you!! 

Abby turns 23 months

Really! My little girl is going to be 2 years old in less than a month. So crazy! And really sad. I don't want her to ever grow up. She is the silliest most precious thing. There are no words to describe her personality. She is growing and learning so much every day. It's so fun to actually no what she is talking about. I am anticipating bringing baby Asher home and seeing how she will be with him. 

48 more hours till we can all be in this home together with three amazing children!!! 

Collin turns 12 today

Our little guy is not so little anymore. I can not believe he is in the 7th grade and 12 years old. 

We love our boy and are so grateful for him. He has been doing good at his new school, he has a sweet group of friends now from our church that he gets to hang out with, he is really enjoying books this last year, and have I mentioned before what an amazing big brother he is. 

And now he will have a baby brother who has a birthday the day after him:) so fun!!! 

Here are some pictures from his recent fantasy club bday party:) 

39 weeks

I admit I never imagined being 39 weeks pregnant. For some reason I just had it in my head that Asher would come early. Yet here I am:) I think since I was a week early with Abby I assumed Asher would be here even earlier and now it seems like he may not come till I am induced. I am scheduled to be induced on Friday. I keep praying he will come before. This time around things are more stressful than the first time. I am really struggling with leaving Abby with friends and not knowing how she will do. We have only left her over night once before. And although I am sure she will do great it is still hard on me. She's my little baby. 

Pray God would help me to rest on his timing and pray for a healthy baby boy! 

38 weeks

I am now 3.5 cm and 80% dilated!!! Baby should be here soon. I am looking forward to meeting this little guy! 

38 weeks

I will be 38 weeks in one day! Crazy! Last Wednesdays appointment I was 2cm dilated and the doctor said he could feel Asher's head. It doesn't mean he will come now but he's making his way out soon! I am ready for my little boy to be here! Besides being tired as usual it's been hot but we are doing good.

When my good friend Julia moved up north I was sad to not have a friend that did photography. Julia took my engagement pictures, some wedding, pregnancy and family photos. She is multi-talented. Then my friend Kate taught herself to take pictures a couple years ago and does such an amazing job. We are so blessed to have a friend like her! Her pictures truly are beautiful and I am so proud of Kate and all she does! Here are two pictures she took today! Thank you Kate!