By Susan Kinley
With Valentine's day coming up I have been thinking a lot about love and how so many of us have a very misrepresented idea of what love is. I know I personally use to think the flowers, dinner, romance, surprises, affection, and everything else were what defined real love. Brian and I have been reading a chapter of 1 Corinthians together each night. Last night we were in the most known text in the book, 1 Corinthians 13. Over the last couple years of being married to Brian I have grown so much in my knowledge and understanding of these widely known and used texts.
Lets look at the definition of love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
God's definition of love has absolutely nothing to do with my needs, my wants, my desires, it also has nothing to do with the flower, the gifts, the kisses, the surprises, or any of the above. A marriage that is made up of two people with their own expectations is a recipe for disaster because someone is always disappointed and wanting and expecting more. A book I used to think was a must for marriages is the Five Love Languages. It makes me sad that churches and believers are so drawn to a book that has nothing to do with scripture and the love God has intended for our marriages. I spent so much of my pre-Christian years watching Hollywood romance movies and dreaming of the man that would sweep me off my feet with banners in the sky proclaiming his love and roses scattered throughout my entire house and not a single fight ever!
The love Brian has taught me is a true biblical love. He loves me in a way that is patient when I am not, he is kind when I am angry, he truly does bear all things, believes all things hopes for all things, and endures all things in our marriage. I love him so much for his biblical love because he draws me closer the the Lord each day. Yes he buys me bouquet of beautiful flowers , and he plans surprises for special occasions, and he writes me sweet love letters every day, but that is not what draws me to this man I married. I hear so many wives talk about how they wish their husbands were more this way and that way but it is never about the ways the man can be Godly or live that out. Of course there are times a friend of mine will tell me all of these romantic things there husband has done and for a minute or two I will find myself envious and then I am drawn back to these verses and remind myself of God's purpose for my marriage and what He has intended for us!
What joy there is when we look outside of ourselves and look to serve and love others whole heartily. I pray to love my husband this Valentine's Day and every day as Christ show's His love for us.
With Valentine's day coming up I have been thinking a lot about love and how so many of us have a very misrepresented idea of what love is. I know I personally use to think the flowers, dinner, romance, surprises, affection, and everything else were what defined real love. Brian and I have been reading a chapter of 1 Corinthians together each night. Last night we were in the most known text in the book, 1 Corinthians 13. Over the last couple years of being married to Brian I have grown so much in my knowledge and understanding of these widely known and used texts.
Lets look at the definition of love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
DEFINITION OF GODLY LOVE
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
God's definition of love has absolutely nothing to do with my needs, my wants, my desires, it also has nothing to do with the flower, the gifts, the kisses, the surprises, or any of the above. A marriage that is made up of two people with their own expectations is a recipe for disaster because someone is always disappointed and wanting and expecting more. A book I used to think was a must for marriages is the Five Love Languages. It makes me sad that churches and believers are so drawn to a book that has nothing to do with scripture and the love God has intended for our marriages. I spent so much of my pre-Christian years watching Hollywood romance movies and dreaming of the man that would sweep me off my feet with banners in the sky proclaiming his love and roses scattered throughout my entire house and not a single fight ever!
The love Brian has taught me is a true biblical love. He loves me in a way that is patient when I am not, he is kind when I am angry, he truly does bear all things, believes all things hopes for all things, and endures all things in our marriage. I love him so much for his biblical love because he draws me closer the the Lord each day. Yes he buys me bouquet of beautiful flowers , and he plans surprises for special occasions, and he writes me sweet love letters every day, but that is not what draws me to this man I married. I hear so many wives talk about how they wish their husbands were more this way and that way but it is never about the ways the man can be Godly or live that out. Of course there are times a friend of mine will tell me all of these romantic things there husband has done and for a minute or two I will find myself envious and then I am drawn back to these verses and remind myself of God's purpose for my marriage and what He has intended for us!
What joy there is when we look outside of ourselves and look to serve and love others whole heartily. I pray to love my husband this Valentine's Day and every day as Christ show's His love for us.
"By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers." 1 John 3:16
"In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins." 1 John 4:10
"God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8
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